August 26: My Firstborn in the Wilderness

Hey there, cuties! 

So... pretty sure I've mentioned, but missions have this creepy culture of using your mission connections as a family tree. So when you train, you have a son or a daughter. So... I'm a mom? Congratulations? Kind of disappointed because I never got a baby shower or anything, just more responsibility? What? Hahaha. Just kidding. It's awesome.

This week was NUTS. Seriously. Monday, I was really overwhelmed to take this area over from Sister M, and also to train. I'm only three-months old! I still introduce myself as elder sometimes. (It's cool. It's a crowd favorite and not even that embarrassing. So.) I was panic-praying all day. Yeah. Panic-praying. (A man just lost his kid in the library, and found him again. This guy knows what I'm talking about.) That afternoon, we got a call from a man named R saying he'd found a Restoration pamphlet in the park with our number on the back. He said he was going through an incredibly tough time and finding the pamphlet, he knew it was God's message to him. He was SO eager to meet. So... if that doesn't show you God hears each of us and knows His children where they are, I don't know what will. :) 

Sending Sister M off was actually incredible for both of us. We were able to go around and visit each of her recent converts. Serving in this area for nine months, she has done great, great good. She's a pretty level-headed, non-emotional person, but we visited one Liberian sister who hasn't seen her children for like twelve years, and she just lost it. We were mid-chapter in the Book of Mormon and she just started praying and crying. We all lost it. She told us, for what felt like the twelfth time, that each time she is lonely or missing her children, we knock on her door. And then, she pulled out a package and insisted Sister M take a dress that she had saved up to buy for her daughter back in Africa. She kept trying to refuse, but Sister B sent her into the bathroom and insisted with all that African sass. These people are priceless. We sat there waiting for her to come back out, just looking at each other, smiling and crying. , "You're a good mom," I finally said. 

She patted my hand and wiped one of my tears, while letting her own fall. "You look a mess. I gon' get you a real pretty African dress when you leave me, too." Every single person we visited, at some point in the visit, expressed love and gratitude for my staying. 

DANG these people. Tugging at ALL my heartstrings. They show so much consistent and continual faith in Christ. Every time, when they have every logical reason to turn away, to feel He has done them wrong, they turn TO Him. They thank Him for hurting them. They trust in Him with a solidity that inspires me. I am so, so lucky to be in this area.

I picked up my trainee, (my ... daughter?) Sister C, on Wednesday. She was a bundle of nerves and a straight-up cutie. She is from South Jordan, and was a Bingham High Cheerleader. She loves to talk to EVERYONE and never hesitates to approach people. I LOVE it. I was so nervous about how to teach someone to do that... cause I just like it! I don't know. Why not approach them? Anyway. She learns SO fast, she's super hard-working, and we have seen miracles.

Our second lesson was with R, the man who had called on Monday. Our joint-teacher fell through, so we set up chairs under a tree. We were a little lost trying to find his building, and he called at 1:32 to make sure we hadn't forgotten. TWO MINUTES. He was so eager. Like a fat kid in the cafeteria line. That's what I like. He practically ran across the lawn, and was talking a mile a minute when he sat down. He shared how he'd gone to the park to clear his head after his fiance/girlfriend of 16 years and 5 kids had left him. Going in, he glanced at the picnic table, and thought about sitting down. Instead, he kept walking. When he went to go, he kept feeling like he should look again. There on the table sat the pamphlet, with our number on the back. He said he didn't see anyone come in the park, and he's positive it wasn't there when he walked in. The park is away from where we usually work, but the Lord knew R was in our area and knew exactly where, when, and how to reach him. It's honestly like, mind-boggling to me how well Heavenly Father knows each and everyone one of us, where we are, how we feel, what we need.

R poured over the pamphlet every night for four days, and before we could even say the opening prayer, asked to be baptized, told us he had given up drinking and weed a couple weeks before cold-turkey, and begged for a Book of Mormon. I kept looking at Sister C when he looked down to read scriptures and I was like, "OH MY GASH." It was incredible. Something that was also amazing was the feeling I had during that whole lesson - the feelings all of us had. As he shared his story, and this gangster of a man just cried and cried, I cried with him. And I felt, in waves with as constant crash as an ocean shore, "This is why you stayed, this is why you stayed, this is why you stayed." I honestly couldn't tell you a thing I said in that lesson. It was a completely out of body experience and my favorite lesson on the mission, because I know with all my heart, what happened there had nothing to do with me. This truly is the Lord's work and it's so humbling that He lets us be a part of it.

We met with R again on Saturday, and he had read the whole Plan of Salvation pamphlet, filled out the back page with notes on the reading, and practically taught us. He was also sitting with his two daughters, who are eight and ten, who want to learn and be baptized with him because they already see this making his life better. 

................Ummmmmmm, what? I grabbed Sister C after and I was like, I KNOW YOU DON'T KNOW ANYTHING DIFFERENT BUT THIS IS A STRAIGHT-UP MIRACLE LET US CELEBRATE

Hahaha. It hasn't been without bumps, though. In church on Sunday, R had the worst migraine he's ever had, and came anyway. And it was the loudest our congregation had ever been. Babies SCREAMING. He stood up after and was practically shouting, "I'on't DO no babies, man. Mah hayyyeed is ACHIN'. My kids don't cry like that. My kids didn't cry. I'm never comin' back. I'on't DO NO BABIES MAN." The whole congregation was looking. Hahahaha. My trainee was flipping out. I just smiled at her and raised my eyebrows. I leaned over and whispered, "Welcome." Luckily, our ward is full of champs and he stayed for gospel principles and heard testimonies and people prayed with him and alllllll was well. My gash. Hahaha. What a rodeo yesterday was. Luckily, his daughters LOVED primary and they will be back next week. We were able to touch base Sunday evening and do an FHE with them in a members home. All is well. 

But let it be known. To the entire, family-filled congregation, R don't DO no babies, man!

Honestly, I have no idea how we got so lucky to learn with these people. I know that opposition will come, especially when his illumination has been so clear. (Joseph Smith story, anyone?) But I also know that the Lord knows each and every one of us. He knows exactly what we need to humble us, to hurt us, so that He can step in and help us understand where we need to go and what we need to do. 

This video has been on my mind a lot this week, and has helped a lot of our investigators. God gives us trials to correct our course, to open us to something greater, to a joy we can't language or fully understand, but we can always cherish. I love seeing the way God has cut these people down, redirected them, because He loves us enough to hurt us. And every time, if we let them, they help us be who we need and what we need. I know it's true. I love it. 

http://www.lds.org/media-library/video/2012-01-014-the-will-of-god?lang=eng

Have the happiest week eeeeeeeeeeever. :)

August 19: A Year To The Day

In two days, it's a year to the day that I moved to China. I've been reading over my journal entries from last August this week. It all feels so surreal, you know? Like it's this huge chunk of my time and of me, so filled with moments and colors and magic, that it just bleeds into everything else that I am or hope to be. It feels simultaneously like yesterday and like it never happened. And in two days, that day in the airport, in my glasses and my green shirt, that sleepy stumble up a dark Beijing alleyway was a YEAR ago.

And now I'm here.

Packing my plans away and embarking on the trip the Lord has in mind, lugging along an over-large, under-packed suitcase into the unknown seems to be a pattern this past year.

I think I love it. :)

Welp, today is transfer calls. And we have been informed that this week, I will both finish my training, and START someone else's. I'M TRAINING SOMEONE HELP I CAN'T BE RESPONSIBLE FOR ANOTHER HUMAN LIFE. I have no idea how to teach someone how to be a missionary! My gash. Also, I'm taking over the area from Sister M. No big deal, she's just been here a year and OPENED the area in the first place. I'm not intimidated. It's fine. But really, it will be. If there is one thing I have learned this transfer, it is that our inadequacies don't need to make us fearful. They just need to make us faithful, and it will all work out. I can't teach someone how to be a missionary, I can't take over an area and run it, I can't even teach an inspired restoration lesson. But the Lord can. Every last time. BOOM. Thank goodness, right?! 

This week has been both amazing and super hilarious. I feel like Sister M and I got things figured out just in time to switch. Hahaha. UGH. That's how it goes, I guess. Seriously, this week has been unreal. In e'rry sense of the word.

We:

-Got stuck in a lesson that became two hours and every time we tried to walk away, end it, or comment on anything, the guy just started following us, talking super close to us, talking about the heavens and prayers and electricity and things that made no sense while also offering cookies and I just can't even make this have proper grammar because what EVEN JUST HAPPENED I CAN'T. Hahahah, you can bet your sweet bippy that I muttered the words, "I'M IN A GLASS CASE OF EMOTION" to my companion in the lesson while we couldn't get a word in edgewise. Hahaha. Afterwards, we tried to figure out how to describe it. The best was when I started twirling and saying, "I'M A WHIRLWIND OF FRUSTRATION AND FEELINGS." Yeah, so... anyways, things are going great. :/

-Sat down to teach a Liberian man, and it was the most tense atmosphere in the world. He invited us in, got us food and water, said the opening prayer. His wife was on the couch and she was TICKED. She was also preggers, so I was like, eh. I'd be ticked too, no big deal. Nope, it was a big deal. I was like, "Oh, when are you due?" And she was like, "Any time." I thought she meant any day, but then as the lesson went on, her husband casually tells us she's been having contractions for two days and they're waiting on the nurse to call.

.....Ummmmmmmmmmm....!!! I'm SORRY, don't invite us in when your wife is in LABOR. I feel like these are just common things people should know. Sweet mercy, sir! We just grabbed our scriptures and were like, "We'll stop by another time." I don't know NOTHIN' 'bout birthin' no babies. Not about to tackle that one just yet. 

The Twins game was awesome! Minneapolis is incredible. The Twins lost by one in the last inning, after leading the whole game. I love being at the baseball field. Something I come by honestly, I guess. Plus, we stopped at this suuuper legit brick, hole-in-the-wall/sky loft/rustic dreamland of a burger place. Malts, shakes, burgers, sandwiches. It was divine. It's called Annie's Parlour, and I cannot wait to go back there someday with dad. For real. We will gorge ourselves. 

And my birthday was wonderful. Thank you to everyone who sent me so much love! Seriously, I got spoiled. Homemade granola, GPS, knitted booties with POM POMS, gummy worms, new clothes, new journal, cards, Ryan Gosling journal with Mormon Hey-girl sayings... seriously. I could go on. It made me so happy. I love you all!!! :) Every birthday should be a mission birthday. 

As we worked on Saturday, and I thought of the contrast between this year and last - spending the day at home with my family before moving to China - versus a day of every appointment falling through, walking until my feet were sore and my blisters rubbed raw, trying to talk to everyone and only to teach two people. It could've have been one of the most discouraging days of my mission, but I just felt so grateful to be here. 

Also, we had Subway for lunch, courtesy of Grandma and her cute giftcard. I got an African cooking lesson from a Kenyan family we teach, during which we swapped the principles of the Plan of Salvation for advice on which mountains to climb when in Kenya. (Toto may or may not have been playing in my head.) We also had dinner at an Asian buffet with a less-active lady we're working with. ASIA! All the workers were from China and I loved talking to them. Cuties. :) It was a good day. You people are wonderful.

I think the real reason this week was so good, despite being a lot harder and more discouraging than other weeks was because of mom's email this past Monday, telling me that Uncle Wallace had passed away. It's all been pretty sudden, and I sat at the computer in the library and just cried to myself. I love and admire that man so deeply.

Right after, we had a meeting with a member to talk about fellowshipping the family we are teaching into the ward. Instead of talking about the investigators, she talked about her own family. Her daughter-in-law's sister committed suicide a few weeks ago. It was an enormous tragedy and has required this sister to do so much. We of course understood, and listened as she tenderly testified of the comfort of the Plan of Salvation has brought her - through the suicide and through her husbands passing a year or so back. I cried with her, because although neither she or Sister M knew, she was saying everything I needed to hear. When I asked her what we could do, she said, "Find people and share this. It is SO important what you teach. People are going through these things, and they don't know. It's so important what you're teaching."

The Spirit was extremely powerful and I felt our purpose SO strongly. All week, I felt like the best tribute I could give to this John Wayne, cowboy-esque disciple of an uncle, and to this sister and her family, was to labor with all my might. We didn't teach as many lessons as we usually do, but we taught to peoples' needs so much more and the experience of farewelling Uncle Wallace gave me strength and was something I felt prompted to share a few times this week as we taught the Plan of Salvation. He truly remembered that he bore Christ's name and everything he did was a teaching of that principle. I am extremely lucky to be a missionary, a member, and his great-niece. 

I am so thankful for the plan Heavenly Father has for each of us and for our families. I love it. I love our family and I love my friends, who feel like family. I am so happy to be a missionary. As we have taught this family, D and S, I have been so humbled by my good parents, who disciplined me and kept me out of trouble, who raised me in truth and love. 

I LOVE YOU and I like you.

P.s. This choice quote from a sir we taught this week. I was laughing so hard. His girlfriend just broke up with him:

"She a psychology major, and I think she messin' wit my MIND. I'on't even got a Associates, she can't DO me like that!"

He then proceeded to read me all their texts and ask us to pray with him. Hahaha. It's cool. I love missionary work. :) Have the best week!!

August 12: Perspective

Oh, hiiiiiiiiii, guys. 

This week was incredible. I mean just a masterclass in all the things I am not so awesome at, and also a masterclass in how hugely awesome this gospel, really is. Giddddy up.

Items of miracle bid'ness:

Our goal is to teach a restoration a day minimum. Usually two, but either way. Every day, somebody needs that message. For three nights in a row, we didn't teach one ALL day. And then the very last door or stop of the day, we'd get to share it. It's a good example of the principle of giving our all, every ounce of energy and effort and mental resource, and right at the end when we have nothing left, the Lord carrying us to where we need to be. I love that. As we give our all, He blesses us with the things we can't control and helps us to serve these amazing people. I love them, and it's all I wanna do. 

This week, we had an awesome lesson with WM. She's a less-active, fabulously entertaining woman. She's in her seventies and has the hots for an insurance salesman. She gets all flustery and "Ooooh, child!" every time we ask her about it. Anyway. She's in her seventies and has been smoking for sixty years... yeah. The missionaries who baptized her ten years ago didn't teach Word of Wisdom super well, so I guess she only stopped smoking for her baptismal day. :/ She hasn't been to church in years, but every time we talk to her, it makes my spiritual jaw drop. She is so close to the Lord and has crazy dreams. She asked us a question, in great detail, about a dream she had that was, oh, you know, the entire temple endowment session. I had no idea what to say. She is so good at applying the scriptures and her whole life, she's been able to see answers to prayers and to apply the scriptures. But lately, she's felt distanced from God. We talked about the Sabbath Day with her and Word of Wisdom, in great detail. She kept skirting around it, and all the sudden, we were ELDER HOLLANDING HER. I was like... can we do this? She's in her seventies? Answer: No. But the Holy Ghost can do whatever is right for the situation. Soh, it happened. What got her was the word "sacrifice." She said she'd never thought of that. Her whole life, God had handed her these blessings, promptings, experiences, on a silver platter. And now He was asking her a small thing, a sacrifice, so He could bless her and help her more.

Aaaaaaand.... she was in church on Sunday for the first time in years. I WANTED TO HIGH-FIVE THE ENTIRE CONGREGATION WHEN SHE WALKED IN. 

Also, the family we've been teaching was at church on Sunday, too. We haven't been able to meet with them all week with their schedule, and we were getting a little worried about commitment. After church, a brother in the ward came up and casually told us they asked to see the baptismal font and talked about how excited they were for their baptism. Awwwww, yeah. :) Now we just got to figure out how to help the dad quit smoking. (Every time he talks about smoking, he wiggles his fingers, which were frost-bitten and partly skin-grafted, and we just talk about all the crimes he could commit without FINGER-PRINTS. .. I love that family.)

A less active lady we've been helping come back to church for a while got her temple recommend Sunday! :)

Our African family - baptized at the beginning of the transfer - had FHE with us this week. During the course of the evening, the middle child declared herself a future prophet, the youngest peed her pants, and the parents bantered for half-hour about how they met. Hahaha. Family... isn't it about time. I LOVE THEM. They are doing so well. 

This week, the Lord has been teaching me a lot about faith. It's super humbling. Mostly, trials without faith are pointless. And the way we make them mean something is by letting ourselves be shaped by Him. I think it's amazing that in every situation, we have the choice to turn TO the Lord, or away from the Lord. I.e. Laman and Lemual vs. Nephi. Stark contrast, eh?

I've had a biiiig perspective change this week. Faith. What a tricky little guy. I feel like I change the definition of that eighty times a day as a missionary. THERE'S JUST SO MUCH TO IT. I used to think faith was moving forward no matter what, not complaining or murmuring like Laman and Lemual, but putting my head down and plowing forward holding onto my beliefs through whatever life has thrown at me. And I think that's a dimension of faith, but I also think Nephi showed great faith, that Ammon and his people showed great faith, when they were in bondage or they were hurt and they SHARED it with the Lord. They weren't being ungrateful or murmuring, they were trusting a loving Father with the things they needed help with, the things that had hurt them. And once they shared those things with them, He could heal them. But first they had to pour out their hearts to Him. 

Every day this week, I have poured out my heart to the Lord. And every day, I have seen little improvements - incrementally and in the Lord's timing, but changes that are deep and meaningful and help me better to love those we are serving at all times and in all places. Changes that help me to be a better servant to the Lord and to be the Sister Ballif He knows and needs. It keeps me from feeling like I am shrinking, like I am swimming against a current, but rather like I am remembering how to swim in deep water, and with a smile. 

I hope any of that made sense. I know it was all pretty vague, but the Atonement is so real. It can help us with our hurts and our wounds, no matter what they are, and it can also help us to change and to better align our will with His. This transfer, and really, this mission thus far, has been a masterclass in both. I love the Lord so much. I love my Savior, Jesus Christ, and know that He walks with us and wants to lift us as we make changes. And I love this gospel. :)

Aaaaand, now, a few things I loved about this week:

-We knelt down to nightly plan last night and our upstairs neighbor was watching Lord of the Rings. It was the music they play whenever THE EYEEEE comes on. Anyone who's been a missionary and nightly planned on zero energy knows how awkwardly appropriate that was in that moment.

-"If that's Satan, take me now! He's hot. Hot as HELLfire, ladies!" - A lady in our ward describing what she liked about the old temple movie. Hahahah.  I was laughing so hard. STOP IT. But don't ever. 

-We knocked into a family who'd been baptized in Philadelphia and their son ran the entire length of the apartment hall at top speed while we talked. In his Batman briefs. Yelling, for fifteen minutes, "I'M FOREST, I'M FOREST!" The mama - she's African - was like, "He aptly named." Hahahaha. I LOVE IT HERE.

Have the best weeek!!!

August 5 - Good times and a bad case of the giggles

HI, cuties!

This week has been hilarious. I honestly feel like I don't have that much to say... and then also I have way too much to say. Princess Bride quote, anyone? "Let me 'splain. No, there is too much. Let me sum up."

Welp. Our week was full of contacting magic and meeting so many funny people. I LOVE contacting. I just want to talk to every single person I meet, allll day. It's the bayest. It was also full of SO much learning, a lot of which I don't even know how to put into words, other than that I feel different, in a good way. My favorite investie, B, dropped us. I was heartbroken, just because she's had a direct confirmation of the truth... but then it's like. There are so many other people who need this message. Maybe now is just not her time. I can accept that. That agency thing, I tell ya. It's a killer. WHY CAN'T WE JUST TAKE IT AWAY? Not like the entire Plan of Happiness hinges on it or anything... so, yeah.

Let's talk about some gems from this week:

-I bought a headwrap because we always teach African ladies in headwraps. We went to the African fabric market and got it DONE. I like to wear it while I do casual things like eat applesauce. 

-We were stopping by a less-active, when I noticed a man like yelling in the parking lot and flailing his arms above his head in frustration and talking to no one in particular. Naturally, I gave him a solid head nod and smiled. He came over and then proceeded to vent about how charitable organizations ask too much of volunteers. When he was done and I was still smiling, he smiled too and pulled out the card for his CD. "Gimme Some Christmas!" Underneath, it said, "It's ORIGINAL, FRESH, and HOT!" I feel like this is a great time to mention that he was in his sixties and suuuuper flamboyant. Someone please. YouTube this guy.

-We had African food that looked like diarrhea and was the best thing I ever ingested. Spinach rice. Can't even talk about it. The cook was like, "What this look like to you?" I... can't answer, ma'am.  

And those are just a few of the daily funnies, but they lead into the other part of the week I mentioned - the learning. Richard G. Scott has said, "A good sense of humor helps revelation."

That's the gospel truth. This week was so inspired. There are no coincidences, and I have the firmest testimony that God can do this work. He can accomplish his purposes. He just loves us enough to allow us to be a part of it, so we can learn along the way.

On Tuesday, I was in charge of the area while Sister M was at Mission Leadership Counsel. It was pouring rain and like eight of the roads were under construction. Sister S from my MTC group came here and worked with me and we had so much fun, but we were so disoriented. Every single time we said a prayer, we got pointed in the right direction. And the more specific we were with our prayers, the more specific our answers. We prayed to understand turn-by-turn where we should go, and when we pulled over to look at the map, some construction workers came over and asked if we needed help. I showed them the address, hoping they could just point us in the general direction. Nope, he pulls out his GPS and is like, "Can I write it down for you turn-by-turn?" Um, hi.

When we got to the neighborhood where our next stop was, we decided to knock doors. After some rough rejections from some STAUNCH Lutherans, we decided to pray for inspiration. I felt like we should cross the street and knock this house that was all dark. Just really strongly. We knocked and this lady who was going through a divorce answered, and talked all about how her kids were sick, the divorce was so rough, etc. We both felt prompted at the same time to share a Proclamation to the Family. She loved it and said she actually had a friend who was Mormon. We asked, and it was the woman feeding us dinner later that night. When we got to the car, my sticky from Sister M

had said to follow up about the ward member's friend she'd mentioned before, and challenge her to give the friend a Proclamation to the Family. So... there's that. We went to dinner and shared the experience, and the ward member told us that the day before, the lady had called her and asked to go to lunch and talk about her religion, because she felt lost.

AND THEN WE KNOCK INTO HER WITHOUT KNOWING. And the best part about missionary work, is stuff like that happens all the time.

When I was on exchange with Cedar Lake this week, we went to stop by a former investigator's address, and she'd moved out. In her home was a perfectly prepared family who loved the message of the restoration, asked incredible questions, and made me laugh like nobody's business. If someone living there before had never investigated and rejected the gospel, they may never have found what THEY were looking for. I absolutely love the way that works.

I've also really enjoyed this week seeing our companionship grow. Just the knowledge that when you trust another person with your weaknesses, together you forge a strength. It's a simple truth, but it's so true, and it applies to all our friendships and relationships. Most of all, it applies to our Savior Jesus Christ. He knows us. He can help us. As soon as we share our struggles with him - whether they are regrets, sins, habits, a need we don't think we can fill, He can help us get to where we need to be. And the Lord will provide a means for it to happen, every. single. time.

I love this work and I love all of you. :) I hope you have the happiest week.

July 29 - The 70 Cent Miracle

This week. Whaaaat? I can't even handle it. Missionary work is the literal best thing. 

My exchange with Minnetonka made me SO happy. I can't even tell you how good it felt to know where I was going, to know how to contact and WHO to contact, to have prayed for a whole transfer about their needs... man. It was the biggest miracle, and it was peppered with little tender mercies in between. Sister H was my companion, and she was Sister Q's other trainee, so we worked together like PB and J! Straight-up magic. We had so much fun. Our first day, we taught eight times our restoration goal for the day. And honestly, numbers aren't important, but helping THAT many more people than we planned?! Nothing better. 

Also, our first appointment of the day was with K. :) She'd told him I was coming, and he was so excited. He kept saying how happy he was and kept thanking me for the baptism book I made him that the new sisters dropped by. (Did I email about that? I just had everyone at his baptism write their testimony and took a picture of them with him, wrote out a timeline of his conversion with different dates and pictures... and put it all together the morning of transfers as we were white-washed.) It just brought me incredible peace to see him doing well, and that these new sisters LOVE him. The new sister who just came from the MTC cried when she first met him. :) They are everything to him that I prayed for. They stop by whenever they're in the area and teach him at least once a week. He also drives himself to church every week and attends all activities, without a ride. Oh, it does my heart SO much good. He was seriously glowing. He said every day, he's happier. Also, he was wearing a white button up shirt, halfway unbuttoned. With jeans. Corporate casual. K, look at you GO. He invited me to a Chinese buffet. I had to decline because it was out of our area. Hahaha. He wanted to take us out on the TOWN! There's a special place in heaven for him. He's quite possibly my favorite 72-year-old Vietnamese man in the world. No. Definitely. He's so special. Before your mission, you never picture the way your world can revolve around these random and complete strangers. But man. They get all up in your heart like I can't describe.

Alsoooo, it was my first day biking because President called them mid-month and said he needed to take 100 miles off their budget. I got SUPER sunburned. Made me happy. It's been beautiful outside. The Africans back in our area like to tease us about how brown we're getting. And then they like to hold up their arm next to ours and shame us. And maaaaybe we tried biking to our dinner and realized we were on a no-bike highway. SORRY MOM. It ended up fine. So.

One of my favorite miracles this week was seemingly small, but probably something I will remember the rest of my life. We finished lunch early the first day in Minnetonka and I felt prompted to walk around the corner and take two minutes to print a certain talk. As I pulled it up, another talk came to mind - one I hadn't read for a year, nor that applied to my situation. Still, I followed the prompting and queued them both up to print. I had two dollars, and both were lengthy talks. I inserted the first dollar into the machine, and it accepted. When I went to put in the second, it had a rip and wouldn't work. I had no change on me, and the Spirit kept pressing on me the importance of printing that second talk. I was only supposed to have thirty cents returned, and I needed seventy. I closed my eyes briefly and prayed to understand how to accomplish the prompting, and right then, exactly seventy cents fell out of the machine. Sister H and I both had chills. We kept looking around like we were being punked. The change belonged to no one, and it had been and instant and specific answer to my prayer. I printed the second talk with the exact change I needed and had been given, and we were back on our way. 

The next day, in a lesson with another one of my favorite investigators, he brought up a concern that was addressed almost verbatim in the second talk. We had chills again. We both knew what to do, and handed him the talk. He read the first line, and was stilled. It was a small thing with huge consequences, and a testimony to me that the Lord brings to pass miracles in specific and inspired ways in our daily lives. He knows us, and beyond that, He knows how we can help others. He shows us every day, if we'll see, through little things, like 70 cent miracles. 

AND, there were about fifty million lemonade stands as we were out and about knocking doors. If you know me, and my chronic lemonadestanditus, you know what a tender mercy that was. Sister H looked at me and said, "You know, I think people forget that side of missionary work. And I think you never will. If Christ were walking this street, He'd take the thirty seconds to make their day. And so would you. Every time." There must've been some ONIONS in the lemonade, cause my eyes were all sorts of watering after that.

I got to see all my favorite families, and we contacted into a lady named I right at 8:50 (we have to be home by 9:00 if we're not teaching a lesson.) She was really tired, and Sister H was just going to give her a Mormon.org card and then all the sudden I was like, "Hey, we'd love to come in and share this message with you." What words are coming out of my mouth? You don't invite yourself in? But she let us in. Cue the most spiritual lesson of my mission. She was bawling from the first prayer and said she'd been praying that very night for help and knew this was it and that it was true. Sister H was SO inspired in that lesson. GUH. Minnetonka is full of magic. :)

There were so many little things SO intensely for those two days, but another moment that was a huge blessing was our visit with Sister S. She's older and less-active, and for some reason, my first week in Minnetonka and as a missionary, I felt prompted that I was just gonna be obsessed with her. That's cool as a missionary. Anyway. Just saw her name on the ward list and made it my goal. She came to church every week of that transfer but one, and we always saw her twice a week! Before that transfer, she hadn't been for five months. It was awesome progression. We went with the elders to give her a blessing before we had to exchange back, and it was powerful. She just cried, and it was so specific to her. I was just so happy to be in her home again. As we left, she came and grabbed both my hands and just looked at my crying and told me I was what brought her back to church, and that no matter what people told me for the next 18 months, to remember she loves me. That she would never forget me as long as she lived. Now, I know with all my heart, I didn't do anything. Her coming back to church had nothing to do with me and had everything to do with her good desires and open heart, and the Spirit. But it was exactly what I needed. 

Things in Shingle Creek are awesome as well. I love Africans. I love the tiny, daily opportunities to help someone and to increase their faith. I love being in peoples' homes and understanding how they live and how they know Him - or want to. I love hearing, "Ooooh, honey-girl, you coo'," at the end of teaching evaluations with less-actives. I love every little kid that yanks at my hands as we walk and shows me their braids and their beads for summer. I love my companion and all she is teaching me. She is incredible. And we keep finding families! I love teaching with little kids there. And seeing whole families make changes is so sweet. (Also, eight cuties at church this Sunday! Our investies. All chillin' in their hoodies and jeans. Hahaha. We'll talk dress-code sometime. Soooometime. I personally feel like the Lord was just happy they were there. I know I was!)

Other happy tidbits:

"And thank you that the girl elders could come. And that we're having my favorite pasta. Amen." - The most sincere prayer I've ever heard.

"I know, like a mission is preparing me to be a better mother and all that, but I just feel like it's preparing me to be a serial killer. Like I know how to FIND people and HUNT THEM DOWN." - My hilarious companion.

"Are we gonna pray?"

"Yep!"

"Are we gonna cry?" - the best 4-year-old ever.

Annnnd, the Spanish ward in our stake photoshops Jesus into group photos. I'm not even kidding. The cultures and subcultures here make me so happy. 

Life is gooooood, and even when it's hard, I feel like the Lord is so much kinder to me than I deserve. :) I am happy.

The Lord is so good to reassure us, through the daily miracles and happenstances, and through other people. I have been really blessed this week and it humbles me like nobody's business. It makes me want to be the kind of person who can bless others like Sister H and Sister S - like the Lord - blessed me. I love this gospel, and I know it's true. Nothing makes me happier.

I love you, and I like you. 

Have a good one, eh?!

July 22 - You got a degree in BIBLE?

Hiiiii, there. 

This week has been awesome. I love being a missionary. The highlight was definitely in seeing a whole family be baptized and confirmed together. The J family, as I mentioned last week, are an African family who my companion has taught from the very beginning. I think it's so cool that she has gotten to see their entire journey. I got to come in for the fourth quarter, but they have still blessed me so much. They're from Liberia, and they have such a thirst for the gospel. They read the Book of Mormon together, and they have three little girls. (Just exactly like our family!)

To see them all dressed in white (even little G, who's not old enough yet) and beaming as they prepared to take this step... I know I'm pretty wordy, but I don't really have words. We don't realize when we grow up in this how much it can change us, if we let it. And even if we did grow up in the church, we have to make that same decision the J's made, to accept it, and to LIVE it. The blessings that are waiting for us, even as we just TRY to believe, or try to learn more are incredible. I can't describe the good spirit that is around them. Suffice it to say, I cried prrrretty much the whole baptism. And Sister J kept making comments to the side while her family got baptized, and they echoed in the tile stairway. "Mhmm! This right. Yep." Hahaha. I love them! They are so excited to go to the temple together and to know that it truly means they are together forever. And when they all got confirmed, and G was given a name and a blessing, you just KNEW the Lord was so happy. Ahhh. Man. Baptizing a family. Nothing like it. 

Happy things from this week:

1. We usually have someone teach about the Restoration at that awkward midpoint (where everyone's shuffling and trying to be reverent while the newly-baptized folks change out of their wet clothes) and the Medicine Lake Sisters were supposed to come and do that. Theeeen they called two minutes before the baptism started and said their investigator bailed and they weren't coming. So! We taught it. I was reaaaallly nervous, because the J's are so loved. That baptism was HUGE. And President was there. And no matter how many times a day I teach the Restoration, it's still horrifying in those circumstances. 

But we did it. And the Spirit was SO strong. We had to listen SO closely to each other and to the Spirit. I have no idea what we said or how we said it. Just that we were both crying at the end and so was everyone in the room. Not that tears are always an indicator of the Spirit. It was just really powerful. As we taught I just kept thinking, "I KNOW this is true. I KNOW this is true." And having seen the change in that little family, everyone there, member or nonmember, did too. I just really know that if we have faith, it's enough. Even if we didn't plan a lesson and even if faith is all we have, we can do what we are called on to do. Faith is enough.

2. I went on exchange with Medicine Lake and got to work with Sister S. She's hilarious and also we had more inside jokes in a day than I do with most people in a month. That was due partly to the fact that we got along so well.. and partly to the fact that Medicine Lake is a GOLD mine of people.

Example: ... I wanna say his name was S? At any rate, he came up while we were teaching this really awesome Native American Marine named M, and just kept wandering in and out of our discussion. You think I mean verbally, but I literally mean he was walking in between all of us all floaty-like, waving his arms and zoning out. He had an electric guitar with broken strings and he was super old and shirtless, just strumming along. He offered me two kinds of whisky and told me to check out his YouTube channel, Catpudding Kittylitter. "The language is profane, but the message is pure." Hahahah. GET OUT OF HERE. I loved him!

Example 2: We taught a family of little Native American kids whose grandma is a member, but inactive. Their mom isn't a member, but she's fine with them learning. It's the sweetest thing in the world. They remember EVERYTHING. We watched the restoration video with them and when it ended they were like, "WAY TOO SHORT! COME ON!" 

3. You don't appreciate Matisyahu until it's being blasted from an oldschool boombox at an African barbecue (barbecue is a liberal term. Smoking-grill-on-a-balcony-with-dancing-Africans-and-music is just cumbersome).

4. Sometimes Africans come here having been sponsored by a church, and so they're required to go "Bible College" to pay part of it back. So people are always surprised that we know things and haven't been. I can't tell you how many times we get asked, seriously, "You got a degree in BIBLE?!!" Hahaha. I love it.

5. We ran into a man named F two nights ago, on our way to stop by someone else. We ended up talking to him for a long time, and it turns out his brother is a missionary from our ward who is out. His sister joined later and is in Young Womens. He talked about changes he'd seen in their lives as they lived it, and he kept saying he knew it was true, but the timing just wasn't right yet. He wanted to change. We told him that this was how to do it. He was so embarrassed to be seen with a beer since we knew his family. (Obviously, we didn't care about that. He was straight-up amazing.)

I don't know how to explain it other than to say that as we talked to him, you could FEEL how much his siblings were praying for encounters like this to happen for him. It was really humbling knowing that the Lord trusted us with that. The prayers of that elder, somewhere, the prayers of his sweet little sister. Both wanting him to have the happiness they have. 

His sister spoke in church the next day, actually, and in her talk, she told us she prays for F every night. The Lord hears our prayers. He knows us where we are. And He is waiting to bless us. 

6. We were teaching our investigator B this week, this African grandma. She's the best. We were reading in Mosiah 18 about baptism, and after the part where she read, "What have ye against being baptized in his name," she stopped and said, "Shoot. Ain't nothin' wrong with that!" Then she laugh-cried. It caught her off-guard, but it was so good. She's a cutie. She knows it's true. And she has, of her own free will, before the missionaries ever met her, turned from a life of drugs and neglect, to being the person all her kids dump their kids on, the person who encourages her family to stay sober, and the person who prays whenever she's frustrated. I LOVE her. Also, she's the sassiest woman alive. 

7. Tonight, I go on a 48-hour exchange with Minnetonka. Back on my HOME TURF. Weird. Gotta check in, see if K's still going strong. All of that. I'm excited! :) 

This transfer is so different, but so good! I am so grateful for the good things that are happening, for all the good days. I am so thankful for the hard things, too. The Lord is giving me Mountains to Climb. (Please see video link below. Lds.org, you've done it again. My gash.) It's hard, and I'm really lucky.

http://www.lds.org/media-library/video/mormon-messages/mormon-messages-2013?lang=eng#2013-01-003-mountains-to-climb

I love you all! :) Have suuuuuch a good week. Please have a Slurpee (or ten) for me. MINNESOTA PLEASE, JUST SELL THEM. IT'S A HATE CRIME AGAINST SUMMER. (Not that I could have one anyway. Eh. Stupid commitments)

July 15 - Shingle Crick

Heeeey. I love you. 

SO! Leaving Minnetonka was the equivalent of putting my heart in a dryer. (I don't know, guys, it just came to me. My fingers are FLYIN' on this keyboard) I loved that ward and those people so much! Crying ward children. :/ And K was pretty heartbroken that we were both leaving. Also, sending my best friend on up to Duluth was rough as well.  She'll do great things, though. The Lord knows where I need to be. I trust that, I love that, and I'm happy. 

Shingle Creek is deeeelightful. It's a major refugee area. I can't remember if I talked about that when I was on exchanges here. I thought when I got called to Minnesota I'd be teaching straight old ladies in cat sweaters for eighteen months. When in reality, I haven't talked to a single white person besides my companion and a family in the ward ALL week. Everyone is from Africa, South America, or Asia. And they're all so cool. Stinkin' Minnesota. Where did you even come from?!

A typical street here has stores like Boss Kuts, with a sign that includes African braiding, adjacent to a fried chicken joint, a gas station, and a Family Dollar. Everyone we teach wears bright colors, like African cloth with beautiful headdresses. I am so in love with it. 

Hhhalso, I had the first LEGIT Chinese food I've had since December this week. House of Huiiiiiii. (There aren't really that many I's... it's just how I say it.) The lady there reminds me of my second-mom in Changyi, in the sense that she discounted my food after I slaughtered all the tones on a Mandarin phrase at her insistence and loved on us the rest of the time. (Out of pity, probs. I DON'T SPEAK CHINESE.) She kept hovering and told me she'd make mine extra-legit since I had lived in Shandong. Also, she kept watching us eat, grabbing my shoulders and saying, "You skeeny. You good body. That good." She wants me to marry an Asian so he can help me with my Chinese. I'm down. I need a translator when I return to China. Hahahahaha. So. People. House of Hui. Hit it up. To quote the Kenyan man a table over, "They sauces is off the CHAIN!"

What else? I got the most creatively rejected this week that I ever have. We went up and the guy just closed his eyes and froze like a statue. For like ten minutes. That's commitment. I wasn't even MAD. So good. Get it, sir. 

My companion, Sister M, is incredible. She's Sister Training Leader, so I'll be on exchanges like... every week, if not multiple times. But it'll be cool to see more of the mission! She's so hard-working and has such a passion and urgency for the people in this area. We are CONSTANTLY moving or making phone calls, and we don't even sit down while we eat lunch. She's working me like a dog, but I'm way happy. I love this area. She is a great missionary. I have so much to learn from her.

...Also, she's super organized and controlled, so things were kind of formal between the two of us until the second day, when I mumbled, "Man, it either smells like really good Mexican food or really bad B.O." We were hustling up some stairs and I said it more to myself than anyone... but she laughed SO hard and loosened up. She's a cutie. Best laugh errrrr.

Hmmmm. What else? OH. An African family they've been teaching here for four months is getting baptized this week! We've met with them twice and they have the most beautiful children. They're SO cute. African babies just run wild here, with their little braids and diapers and bare feet. Sometimes they have beats bumping and just dance around on their chubby legs and laugh. Can't even do it. Melts my flipping heart. All of their family except the youngest are being baptized on Thursday. Keep them in your prayers. :) They are aMAZing. 

Honestly, seeing all the kids here makes me homesick... for China. I know. Weird. They're just all so good and have no idea how great they are. I really miss those kids. There's not a day that's gone by since I've been home that I haven't thought of them and what they taught me. 

(But who knows. I could be thinking of China because we had to sign a waiver when we moved in that we wouldn't sue if we got sick from the tap water. :///// Also, it's grossly humid. Whoops.)

Hm. OH! I am not eating sweets or desserts this transfer... Wait for it. I'm not dieting, cause let's be real. I'd never commit to that. Nope. Buuut. I want to understand what that's like, for our investies with Word of Wisdom problems or other addictions. Cause I've never really had that in my life, where I wanted to do something that was so in my face all the time, and knew I shouldn't. The first day I was like, "Hey, this is the easiest!" Then it hit nine o'clock and I was SO HUNGRY. That's when I realized that 99.9 percent of my daily intake is cooookies. Hi. Anyway. I just really want to better understand and help them. It seems silly, but it's important to me. I can't ask anyone anything I'm not willing to do.

(So. Am I counting down the days to August 21 so I can vacuum whole sleeves of Oreos in my mouth? Maybe. But I'm trying! :/ A Shelby without daily dessert just feels like an identity crisis. Gash. At least they don't sell Slurpees here, or I'd be DONE for.)

Things are really good. I am happy to be here. It weirds me out that we're already two months into this thing. There's SO much I don't know. But I do love these people. I know my Savior lives. I know He helps us and that God knows us wherever we are and however we feel. And I love every moment in this work.

I love you all! You're in my prayers. 

Have the best week!!

With all my heart,

Sister Ballif